


Drink, Dare & Dial

by FlyYouFools (MK47)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MK47/pseuds/FlyYouFools
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina attends the Welcome Home party in 3x10 and finds two unexpected drinking partners, one of who issues her a challenge she can’t refuse. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drink, Dare & Dial

**Author's Note:**

> I have to stop looking at my tumblr dash. This is the second week in a row I saw a gif set and was attacked by a story idea I had to write immediately. Check out the third row down, right panel, in which Regina says, “Of course”: http://paelmoon.tumblr.com/post/69445706395/evilqueenapologist-spookyfbi Initially I was drawn to Regina’s heartbreaking expression of surprise, then I noticed two people in the background. And I thought, “Wouldn’t that be a fun drinking trio…”
> 
> This one-shot is set at the Welcome Home party in 3x10, but otherwise completely – and sadly - veers from canon. (And Henry is Henry, although that has no real bearing on this story.) Major beta thanks to Alaska829Snow, who keeps getting texts from me, like, “Goddammit, I have another idea for a story” and is nice enough to answer them.

“I dare you.”

Leroy chuckled as his dark eyes narrowed, his face twisting into a self-assured sneer as he challenged Regina over the rim of his mug. He tipped his chair back, quite cocky, and celebrated his gall with a sip of Scotch.

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

Regina clumsily set her glass on the table and tried to return her most threatening gaze. However, the stare was about as frightening as a pouncing kitten given the fact the brunette was rather drunk, bleary-eyed and was having a hard time focusing. “ _What_ did you say?”

“You heard me, sister.” Leroy reached in his pocket, pulled out his phone, swiped the screen few times and set it in front of her. “All you have to do is press Call.”

Tink tittered across the table, trying unsuccessfully to hold in her laughter. Giving up, she finally let out a snort and finished her drink, leaning in intently to see how the situation resolved.

“I dare you,” he repeated confidently.

Regina Mills was not one to back down from a challenge, not from Rumple nor Maleficent and certainly not from a belligerent, Charming-loving dwarf.

“You think I won’t?” she sniffed, trying to act disinterested when she was actually riddled with anxiety, her worry amplified by her blood alcohol level.

“I’m hoping you will,” Leroy barked out with a cackle.

Regina stared at the phone, the giant green Call symbol mocking her.

XXXX

The evening had started with such innocent promise, the travelers home from Neverland, celebrating their safe return with their friends and loved ones at Granny’s. Tinkerbell was captivated by Storybrooke, a place unlike any she had ever seen. She never veered far from Regina’s elbow, simultaneously overwhelmed and fascinated by modern life.

The former Queen and the disgraced fairy had become friends of sorts over the past week. Regina enjoyed having someone she could consider an ally with little hesitation. Even though their past was complicated, the women - both used to alienation and loneliness - buried their collective hatchet and appreciated the novelty of having a supporter.

Regina and Tinkerbell were welcomed by the revelers with cautioned hospitality, which transitioned into genuine friendliness after everyone loosened up via a few rounds of drinks. Leroy finagled an introduction to the fairy from Emma - “Watch out for this one” - though neither was sure which person she was warning.

Unaffected and unused to caution, Leroy proceeded to charm the fairy with a wicked twinkle in his dark eyes and several beers throughout the night. That left Regina as the third wheel; she didn’t want to be alone, nor did she want to abandon the blonde to the miner.

Emma kept an eye on the trio in the corner all night. _What the fuck is that all about?_ A fairy, a dwarf with a mean streak and a former Evil Queen: It sounded the setup for an Enchanted Forest joke.

She sidled up to Ruby. “Are you getting a load of this?”

“I know!” the waitress whispered fiercely. “I don’t want to go over there and interrupt, this could be epic.”

“An epic disaster.”

Ruby adopted the verbal equivalent of a pout. “Jealous Regina has a new friend?”

“What are you talking about?” she replied a little too defensively.

“Oh, come on. Just admit it, I see the way you look at her.”

Emma gaped. _Am I that obvious?_ “What, did you sniff glue while I was gone? You’re nuts.”

“Fine. Live in denial,” she smiled, swaggering over to another cluster of party-goers.

The unlikely trio talked and drank the night away in a corner booth until they were the only ones remaining. Henry and Emma left two hours prior, with promises to talk sleeping arrangements and schedules in the morning. The boy hugged his mother goodbye and headed for the door, as Emma appraised Regina and her new friends with a smirk.

“What?”

Her grin grew wider. “Nothing, just…be careful alright?”

“Just what are you insinuating?” huffed the brunette.

Emma called over her shoulder merrily, “Make good choices!”, quickly exiting with a giggle before Regina could retort.

The brunette carefully made her way back to her table in that overly cautious, painfully slow way drunks do, as Granny approached and tossed the keys to Leroy.

“Don’t drain my bar,” she threatened. “I expect you all to pay up tomorrow. Leave the keys in my mailbox.”

The woman assessed the scene with a critical eye once more before turning to leave.

“Good night,” she announced warily, adding a scintilla of affection. “And welcome home.”

Regina snickered the moment Granny cleared the room. “I do believe I may be back in Eugenia’s good graces.”

“Maybe,” the scruffy miner noted, “but you sure are in Emma’s.”

Regina stopped short, halting the glass just as she was about to sip. “What do you mean?” she asked suspiciously.

“I mean I watched her watch you all night,” he noted, pushing his chair back from the end of the booth to hit the bar. He returned with a bottle, pouring himself two fingers of Scotch, another two for Tink and held the neck over Regina’s glass, pausing for her permission.

She nodded; she was going to need more alcohol to survive this conversation.

“I know what it’s like to love someone you’re not supposed to love,” he affirmed, taking a sip. “It fucking hurts.”

“I wouldn’t know about that, but you’re wrong about Emma. We’re barely friends.”

“Didn’t look like that to me.”

“Leroy’s right. She’s quite fond of you, I can tell.” Tink was laying her head against the back of the booth, eyes closed.

“You’re nearly unconscious, what do you know?”

The blonde opened her eyes and lifted her head, staring seriously at the former queen. “I am a fairy. I know what love looks like. I know what True Love looks like. And I know what I see.” She paused with a smirk. “I also see that you’re blushing.”

Regina took another sip of Scotch in an attempt to subdue her nerves and hide her face, which only reddened deeper on the fairy’s observation.

“It’s the alcohol,” she explained quietly. “And what do you see?”

“I tried to assist with your love life once. I won’t do it again. This is for you to handle. But I will say, Emma definitely has feelings for you. It’s obvious, she’s practically vibrating with them.”

The brunette was stunned; she never expected her burgeoning affection was returned.

“But what about Baelfire and Hook? They’re ready to fight for her hand.”

Tink laughed. “Are you drunk or just blind? She wants nothing to do with them, that even you could see.”

“Hey, tell me about when you messed with the queen’s love life,” Leroy demanded with a grin. “I want to hear that.”

“Listen…dwarf….” Regina leaned forward to lecture the man, planting an elbow on the table for balance, nearly slipping when she leaned on it. “I haven’t reigned since you had a full head of hair. Call me Regina, alright?”

Leroy snorted. “I kinda like you, _Regina_.”

“And I tolerate you. And, no, Tinkerbell will not be telling you about that.”

The fairy nodded, “Of course not.”

Regina directed the conversation away from herself and onto safer topics as the conversation and liquor flowed deep into the night.

It was nearly 2 a.m., when Leroy piped up, undeterred, circling back to Emma.

“I dare you to call her. Right now,” he challenged firmly.

“What?”

“Emma. I dare you to call her.” A belly full of Scotch and permission to use the former queen’s first name had given the miner unprecedented audacity. He was determined to help his new friend.

“Ask her out to dinner. Call her up right now and ask her out to dinner. If you don’t ask her now, you’ll chicken out,” he stated, resolute. “Take it from me, I know.”

“He’s got you there,” Tink noted with a smirk.

“Be quiet.”

XXXX

Regina stared at the phone, the giant green Call symbol mocking her.

She picked up the phone, pressed Call and put the phone to her ear, suddenly in a panic. She had no idea what to say.

Emma was dead to the world, her body effectively shut down completely after the past week’s adventures. She fought wakefulness as she heard her phone in the distance, growing louder and closer as it pulled her reluctantly into consciousness.

She groaned, fumbling for the cell on her nightstand.

“What?” she moaned, still half asleep.

“Emma?”

Regina’s voice was like a pot of black coffee, snapping her to attention immediately.

“What?” she exclaimed anxiously. “Are you OK?”

Emma’s genuine concern and panic cut through the brunette’s drunken haze. Now she felt drunk and guilty.

“Um, yes. I just…um…”

“You sound weird, where are you?”

“At Granny’s,” she answered, as if it were obvious.

“What? You’re still there? Are Leroy and Tink with you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s it, I’m coming to get you.”

“But…” Emma hung up before Regina could answer. Astonished, she turned to her companions, who were hanging on baited breath.

“What happened?”

“She’s coming to get us,” the brunette replied, stunned.

Tink giggled. “We’re in trouble!”

“Well, I’ll give you this, Regina. You’ve got balls.” Leroy smiled at her with a newfound respect.

“Thank you…I think.”

XXXX

Bells jingled angrily as Emma marched through the diner’s front door and spied her friends at the back booth.

“ _Seriously_?”

Leroy jauntily waved at the pissed-off Savior while Tinkerbell grinned and chirped, “Hi, Emma!” Regina just looked remorseful.

“All of you, up – _now_.”

She watched the trio slowly stagger to their feet, as Emma grabbed the glasses and ferried them to the kitchen.

“Emma, let me—”

“Stay there,” she fumed. Regina felt like she was 8 years old and had gone riding without her mother’s permission.

Table wiped and bar closed, Emma pointed to the front door. “Everyone out and into the cruiser.”

“Are we under arrest Sheriff?” Leroy smiled innocently.

“ _Now_.”

Knowing his way around the backseat of Storybrooke’s patrol cars, Leroy gallantly opened the door and waved the women in. He tossed Granny’s keys to Emma, who locked up, returned to the car and drove off.

First stop was Granny’s, where Emma dropped the keys in her mailbox. Next was the house Leroy shared with the miners.

“Night ladies, it’s been a pleasure,” he winked. Regina lifted her lips in a small grin and turned to Tink, who had passed out.

“Where am I going, Regina?”

“My house.”

Emma headed to Mifflin Street without a word, parking in front. She glanced at the clock on the dash: 2:30. _Motherfucker, I’m getting too old for this shit._

Emma got out and opened the door, noticing the fairy unconscious in the back seat.

“Fairies are friggin’ lightweights? Shit.” Emma exhaled sharply with her hands on her hips and turned to the brunette. “Can you poof her to her bed?”

“I’m inebriated,” Regina noted regretfully. “She could wind up in a tree.”

“Serves her right.”

“Emma!” she scolded.

“Sorry. But it’s, like, going on 3 a.m. and I’m goddamn beat,” she whined. “I just want to go home and go to bed.”

Regina got out so Emma could pull Tink to the edge of the open door. The fairy slumped forward, the blonde using the momentum to maneuver her into a fireman’s carry.

“Regina, watch her head as I lift,” Emma requested as she squatted perfectly ( _I’m not fucking up my back for this field trip_ ), using her core as she thrust upright with a grunt and hoisted the fairy across her shoulders.

Emma followed Regina up the walk, into the house and up the stairs into the guest room. She gently lowered the woman onto the bed, stomach down, face turned to the side.

“I’m putting her on her stomach, make sure she stays that way,” she noted, pointing to the bed. “I don’t want her to Hendrix.”

Regina swayed slightly, squinting in concentration. Whether it was an attempt to remain upright or decipher Emma’s reference, the blonde could not be sure.

“I don’t understand.”

“It means if she rolls on her back and happens to vomit, she’ll choke on it and die.”

“That’s horrid!”

“No kidding, make sure it doesn’t happen,” she ordered seriously.

Regina nodded and headed out the door to her room.

“Where are you going?” she asked, confused.

“I’m following you to your room to make sure you’re OK.”

“I don’t need your help,” she noted, swaying slightly.

“Uh, I think you do.” Emma took an elbow to steady her. “Lead the way.”

She followed Regina into her large, well-appointed bedroom, which Emma unashamedly scoped out while Regina changed in the bathroom. The brunette emerged in yoga pants and a shirt that looked very familiar.

“Hey, that’s my shirt!”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s the shirt Henry let me borrow. I liked it.”

“Well, I don’t recall that, but I can assure you that this is my shirt,” she lied. Regina most certainly remembered that Emma borrowed it, the cornflower blue silk shirt had become one of her favorites.

“Why are you wearing a dress shirt with sweatpants?”

“What is this, an interrogation?” Regina pulled down her comforter and sheets and climbed into bed. “First of all, I do not own sweatpants. These are yoga pants.”

Emma raised an eyebrow and snickered. “Whatever.”

“But if you must know, I’ve been gone for a week and I haven’t had a chance to do laundry. This is all I have for clean nightwear.”

“Uh huh.”

Emma sat on the edge of the bed while Regina raised an eyebrow at her location.

“You’re quite familiar tonight.”

“So are you. Why did you drunk-dial me?”

Regina lay on her back, eyes closed, lest they give her away. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It’s when a person gets drunk and calls another person in the middle of the night to tell them something they’re too scared to say sober.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh_. So give: Why did you call?”

Regina reluctantly opened her eyes and sat up. She wouldn’t be able to feign sleep for this confession.

“Leroy dared me to ask you to dinner,” she admitted sheepishly, dropping her head to her clenched hands. She was too impaired to think up a good lie and too tired to care.

Emma looked at the former queen stunned. She wasn’t sure what shocked her most: that she was in the brunette’s bedroom essentially tucking her in; that Regina wanted to take her to dinner; or that she had been drinking with Leroy and didn’t refer to him as “that idiotic dwarf.”

“Oh.”

Emma sighed and ran a hand over her face. This was some seriously trippy shit for 3 a.m.

“So, are you asking?”

Regina looked up, wide-eyed. That wasn’t the response she expected.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you going to ask me to dinner?”

Regina closed her gaping mouth and swallowed. “Would you like to go to dinner with me?” The question was soft and tentative, not at all the commanding tone of the ex-Mayor.

“Yeah, I would,” Emma smiled, rising. “And if we’re going to go to dinner, we both need some sleep.”

The blonde headed for the door, stealing a last glance at the gorgeous woman about to pass out.

“Regina?”

“Yes?”

“If you don’t remember this tomorrow I’m going to be pissed,” she smiled.

Regina smirked back, sinking into the comfort of her bed once more. “Believe me, I will remember.”

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know technically Regina was wearing a pajama top and not The Shirt, but I like the idea that she was. Reviews sincerely appreciated


End file.
